A field guide to doing school from another city



There are decisions that won’t change your life in the long run but will feel good and agentic, and for that reason alone you should do it. I think youth so far is just about running experiments, one after the other, learning from it and being diligent in the repetition of that pursuit.


In the fall of 2023, I was supposed to do 4 in-person courses in Waterloo. After 8 months of coop work, I was doing three back-to-back school terms and didn’t want to be in waterloo anymore. I wanted to go on exchange but thought I didn’t have the grades for it (turns out they were happy to make me an exception.) I badly wanted to live in Montreal and so I did.


The logistics


I took my four courses from Montreal and commuted to Waterloo for exams. I’ve always taken great pleasure in the academic experience - going to class, asking questions, late night labs on campus. Thankfully that term, I had no in-person labs and all the materials were recorded from the pandemic. I did my lectures from little cafes in Villeray and biked around the city in the evening. The most difficult part was exams, which I had to take the Via Rail back to Waterloo for up to a week. I had friends who graciously let me crashed at their place (thank you A and J)!


That fall I baked bread, ate magical pastries, and pet countless cats on the streets. I fell in love with the Montreal foliage and shook my fist at its feisty winter. I built a life that quickly felt like home and a routine that allowed me the important things, however fleeting it all was.


cat on the stepscat on the street

Now that i’ve graduate (with distinction! to my mother’s dismay), I can safely write about this. I ended up doing really well that term which strangely broke my heart a little. Grades didn’t matter to me anymore at that point, and I regretted not spending more time making memories.


Leaps


That decision built self-confidence. I did the a similar thing the following term. I had not been able to celebrate Lunar New Year in Vietnam for almost a decade. I took off for a month and fulfilled my academic duties remotely. That was the last time I saw my grandpa.


I’m not encouraging you playing hooky with your classes. I have friends who have creatively used their degree terms at the own pace, in their own ways - all of which taught me a lot about questioning the rules that define our lives. Things won’t always line up perfectly but when it feels right in your bones, I hope you make the leap. I hope you take every opportunity to take stock of what alignment feels like in your body, and lean into that feeling just a little bit more every day. I hope you cultivate the inner space that allow you to do things that feels opening and empowering. I’ll leave you with the warm, wise words of Cheryl Strayed:


"You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all."



~


Writing is slow and it is embarrassing. I’m still not sure if this blog should see the light of day. As Ann Patchett puts it:


"[When I write] I grieve for my own lack of talent and intelligence. Every. Single. Time. Were I smarter, more gifted, I could pin down a closer facsimile of the wonders I see. I believe, more than anything, that this grief of constantly having to face down our own inadequacies is what keeps people from being writers. Forgiveness, therefore, is key."

What I’m trying to say is - if you enjoyed this, drop me a note?